Well Today is January the first 2014. In the Past 1 1/2 half years i have been suffering and recovering from an depression. The past 2 weeks made me realize that i don’t like the way my life is going. This is my attempt of somehow writing down my thoughts and feelings
A little backstory
I am a 25 year old male German/American living in Germany where i have spent most my life. If spent 3 years in the states from age 18-21.
Now ever since i came back in 2009 i have had barely any real friends left, the few friends that i did actually start talking to again once i came back my GF at the time did not approve of. So being the nice guy i am i stopped keeping in touch with them (fk me right?). Ever since we broke up that really hasn’t changed much, most of my friends now are out of town are married or are about or have kids
So today was/is new years and as i did the past few years if spend the night with my cousin his wife their beautiful little 3 year old daughter(my godchild) and one of her friends that brought her daughter to.
I didn’t realize until i got there and had no way to make any other real plans for the night that this is most likely going to be my most boring new years ever … and ofc it was once the kids went to bed my cousin just turned on the playstation. his wife and friend went upstairs to listen if the kids were doing alright and didn’t wake up from all the firecrackers and such outside.
So i guess my problem is i don’t have any friends that would think about me ask if i wanted to do something even on a day like this.
I’m currently out of work and probably will be till summer this year so thats not an option. so if anyone is really reading this maybe you’ll have an idea what i could do to fix this stupid problem.
guess thats it for now im new to this and i just needed somewhere to put my thoughts
Happy new year